just jen.

These never ending conversations haunt me. Like they’ve got some kind of disease.

As though it cannot be helped but to speak of it. To dwell on it. To criticize, and pick, and think of it.

They will never end. Not until a solution is found, which by the looks of it has been lost since the beginning.

Just for your information, giving up and surrender does not equalize to support.

I am looking forward to the changes this year will bring.

Declaring now that there will be changes for the good. For growth and betterment.

Now if I could just motivate myself more to believe this every day from now.

You know those days when everything seems to be going with the flow. You just sit there, calmly do what you need to do and everything is working out?

Then suddenly something or someone decides to storm into your lovely, serene day and take a huge dump of stupidity.

Ugh.

It’s all good. You made it through.

Wow, I’m really bad at this.

I love the way we love.

How we’re satisfied with simply standing or sitting, chatting with one another.

I’m not surprised we all get kicked out so often or get shushed while eating dinner.

A first step for the better: budget.

Really need to focus on that word because it’s always been a struggle for me. Never understood why it’s so difficult, but somehow I end up spending away until it’s too late.

Finally decided to get something to help me organize my spending. This way I can see what I’m spending on a day-to-day basis. Hopefully it’ll deter me from continuing to spend the way I do. Since obviously it hasn’t been very balanced.

Then maybe I can feel more confident on my travels and experiences. Instead of always thinking about how I can afford anything.

Hey look, it’s an actual resolution!

One step at a time.

I think I put so much importance on the new year’s “new beginning” feeling that I sort of freaked out on the inside.

Time to tell myself to breathe. Need to take it down a notch and gather myself before I overwhelm myself. Can’t keep up with that pace or I’ll just burn myself out!

So I guess I’ll be spending this month just trying to organize my thoughts and set out a plan for the rest of the year! Phew, lots of exciting things lining up so far.

But for now, one thing at a time. Let’s go at this goal-by-goal, huh Jen?

Till next times peeps!

Wish we could turn back time
To the good old days
Back when our [mama] sang
Us to sleep
But now we’re stressed out
With feelings.

Slight inside joke to anyone who knows my mom and her passion about us learning how to sing. She’d continuously tell us to, “Sing with feeling!” We were never entirely sure what she meant.

So I somehow have gotten back into KPop. Curse you SHINee, why do I love you so?

And now here I am trying to avoid watching so much kpop videos and instead find myself watching Eric Nam interviewing American celebrities, hahaha!

I know Eric Nam came from America, but it’s still so interesting seeing two worlds collide. Must feel nice for the actors and stars to have an interviewer whom they can understand.

Anyway, enough blogging. Going to watch a few more interviews and head to bed.

I am not ready to be productive again…

Spent pretty much the whole day in my room today. Accomplished zero percent of the things I had planned out for myself. The only reason I left my room was to eat dinner, hahaha!

Well, it’s time to face reality again tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well getting back to work or whatever it is they’ll be returning to!

Love, Jen